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January 1st, 2018



I don't care if you read this. I really don't. This isn't for you, this is for me. I want to get things out. There seems to be a lot that can be spoken into the void and have an effect, however, the void can't listen. I take offense to this, obviously. We, as humans, like to be listened to, to be understood, and to converse with each other. Personally, I try to spend my life in silence, to listen more than I talk, and try to be wise and genuine when I do talk. I fail at this. A lot. I mean, I'm only 25, it is hard to be wise at 25.

It seems like I'm being pulled at different directions, I don't want you to read it, but I want to be listened to, I want to be silent, but I want to say something. I can't really reconcile these things. It doesn't offend me. I suppose the best explanation is I want to talk, and if you read this, that's okay too.

So what do I want to talk about? Well, things. I love talking about things! I'm indifferent to the whole meaningless, small talk thing. Mostly because I'm really bad at it.

"Oh! How are you today?"
"Well, I've been better, but hey! I'm right side up!"
"Well, that's good...."

I'm not fond of it. I get that I should just say, "I'm good, how are you?", but I hate that dishonest feeling. So let's talk about something that's not the weather.

"It's mighty cold out! Aren't you cold?"
"No, ma'am. I walk from my warm car to your door and back without getting very cold."

I feel I should mention, I make my way through college with a pizza delivery job. Half my job is small talk at doorways, so I should be better at it after three years, but the simple fact is not really. Hungry people don't care what you say when you're holding their food. Well, mostly. You can easily offend some people by being friendly, that's a different topic though.

Small talk seems to be the bane of my existence. I have no clue how I get from hello to talking about something other than, "How 'bout those Titans?". Heaven help me if I have to do small talk on sports. I live in Tennessee, I know a little about the Titans, the Vols, and the heaven-sent Patton Manning (may he return to bless the pigskin one day), beyond that, I haven't the foggiest. I watched many a football game in oblivious bliss, hoping one day I would gain an understanding of how this all works but.. Well, I just don't care for sports.

 So can we skip it? Eh, not really. As much as I hate it, it is still something that is a glue for society, No one goes up to someone and starts with serious topics.

"Hello, let's discuss the political discourse in American."



Song for the day: Time-Pink Floyd

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